I nearly had a complete meltdown yesterday evening. There were tears; there was muffled screaming; there were unforgivable thoughts of knitticide. (o)ribbit(o)
I've been working on a lace shawl. I know there are people who whip these things up regularly and never think twice about it, but I've never done anything even remotely so complex and difficult, and I'm having a hell of a time with it. The most frustrating part is that the stitches are NOT EVEN difficult. Yarn-overs, k2tog's and ssk's, with the occasional s1k2togpsso thrown in for neatness. Nothing I can't handle. I can even read charts with zero confusion. Heck, I make my own charts!
So what's the problem?
Honestly, I don't know if it's simply a concentration issue or what, but I keep making very simple mistakes - usually it's forgetting a yarn-over - and then I don't notice it until two rows later when I suddenly realize I don't have the correct number of stitches to finish this new row of the chart. Since my lifeline is usually several rows below that, I wind up carefully tinking back, one stitch at a time, down two whole rows, which at this point are just over 100 stitches each. I'm making more progress backward than forward. And so, this shawl that I gave myself seven weeks to make (now six), is perhaps only 10% done.
The only reason I'm even sticking with it is that I told my mom I'd make something fabulous and periodish for this Victorian Holiday Party she and my stepdad have been invited to, and to which they're bringing me. The guests at this party are encouraged to present some sort of performance - a song, a reading, a dramatic interpretation, or, as in my case, a brief talk on a craft or hobby, the accompanying display being, of course, this goddamn shawl. I said I would do it, I want everyone to admire it, so dammit, I'm going to make this farking thing and I'm going to make it on time.
Stubborn pride can be an excellent motivator.
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